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Looking Back: Rendezvous At 3 A.M.

Denise Heidel, Washington State

Denise’s story was published in the March-April 1981 issue of La Leche League News and was originally seen in the Washington State and Alaska La Leche League newsletter, The Northwest Corner.

Editor’s Note: The first issue of La Leche League News, the bimonthly publication for members, was published in 1958. The name changed to New Beginnings in 1985. New Beginnings continued to be published by La Leche League International until it was transferred to LLL USA in 2010. In 2014, it transitioned to its current blog format at

Woman breastfeeding her little baby nightMy “3 a.m. rendezvous” with Forrest is one of the most precious hours we spend together. When I snuggle him to my breast, he calms instantly, searching for my eyes, grasping my fingers tenderly. Our eyes meet, and all is quiet, so full of peace and satisfaction. At no other time of the day are these feelings so pronounced and uninterrupted. It is as if he and I were the only awake beings; the only important thing in the world at the time is that we need and have each other.

As we sit in stillness with the small lamp glowing, I often reflect on his birth, how much love his father and I felt the first time we saw him. His eyes meet mine again, full of dependence and happiness, and I think ahead with some sadness, knowing one night much too soon he won’t need the early morning nursing. I’ll always cherish the memories of every one we spent together.


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