By Amanda T.
From birth to age two-and-a-half, my daughter, Addie, and I co-slept and nursed to sleep and throughout the night as needed. Our weaning was extremely gradual and gentle for both of us, emotionally and physically.
We started weaning from our daytime nursing sessions by using the strategy “don’t offer, don’t refuse”, where you allow your toddler to nurse if they ask but don’t offer it yourself. We used distractions, too, like a toy, activity, or snack. We leaned into playing together as we gradually nursed less during the day.
I talked with her a lot about the weaning process. If she requested to nurse, I would explain to her how our day would go. For example, I’d say, “First, let’s do a puzzle (or other preferable activity); we will nurse after!” We also used a countdown while feeding to cut back on the length of time she was feeding each time. Including her throughout the process was really helpful.
By two-and-a-half years old, Addie was only breastfeeding to fall asleep and in the middle of the night if she woke up. To prepare her for the next steps of weaning, we used books and reviewed pictures of ways to fall asleep without nursing. My husband helped comfort her while we cut back on bedtime nursing. Her needs were met, and it went right along with my gentle intentions. I would sleep with her when she initially fell asleep. If she woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn’t comfort her in any other way, I would nurse her for a few minutes.
After about a week of falling asleep without nursing and still co-sleeping, we noticed she was showing interest in moving to her own big-girl bed. A special delivery of her favorite colored sheets and a book about sleeping in a big-girl bed arrived in the mail for her. I was intentional about doing each transition in stages. It felt like I was following her lead! We continued to respond to her needs as she moved to her own bed. For the most part, she went to bed easily and comfortably.
After those transitions went smoothly, we planned a special day to celebrate her weaning milestone and our nursing journey. We even had balloons! At this age, Addie was able to talk about her feelings of sadness, and I could meet her with compassion and understanding.
We found other ways to connect and bond. For sleep, instead of nursing, I would sing to her and rock her, then I would kiss her and leave her to nap. Sometimes, my husband would help put her back to sleep in the middle of the night, too. He would sing and rub her back while she laid on her belly.
Weaning a toddler and working through the steps of the process with them while respecting their needs can feel overwhelming. It is a big milestone! Addie and I had become an awesome breastfeeding team. Now it was time to move beyond nursing and continue to grow our bond.
For other families who are thinking about weaning or toddler transitions, I’d encourage you to involve your child in what the upcoming changes may look like. You can do this using stories, charts with pictures to show the routine for the night, and comfort items they can lean on, along with ways that a parent can still soothe them. You can check out some ideas for weaning books from LLL USA here. Start pointing out how beloved book characters can sleep without breastfeeding (you can use language from story books to help you if needed).
If you are savvy, you could even create your own story to read aloud to your child. I did this, and my daughter, Addie, loved looking at the pictures of herself that I put throughout the story. You can learn more about how to create a personalized story here. I made a short story for each new transition and included pictures of her sleeping on her own, so she could visually see herself doing each thing we were working towards.
You may want to choose a day on the calendar together for the last day of nursing and mark it in a special way. Countdown how many days are left and talk about what it will be like. Make sure to focus on the positives, like how exciting it is to celebrate growing into a big kid, instead of dwelling on something beloved going away.
Consider planning some special activities for the last day of nursing. You might do some of your child’s favorite things or perhaps try something completely new (such as going to a new park or making a yummy new recipe in the kitchen). You may want to include balloons, cake, or whatever feels right for your family. Be sure to take pictures and videos of the special day and all of the fun things you did together. When your child asks about breastfeeding later, you can look back on the photos gently reminding them that you decided together to gradually stop nursing and focusing on how great that celebration was! Looking at these pictures helped us in the first few days after weaning, when Addie would occasionally ask about breastmilk.
Having a plan for tough moments may be helpful, as well. It is okay to ask for some support. For me, I went on walks and sought peace from my faith while my husband watched the baby monitor. You might consider calling a friend to get your mind off things or to process how you’ve felt about weaning. However you process the end of your nursing journey is okay! Just know you’re not alone.
For more resources on weaning:
Supporting Breastfeeding Families–Today, Tomorrow, Always

Please consider donating to La Leche League USA.
Your gift helps support this blog and the website!
Donations of any amount are gratefully accepted. Thank you!
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Posted: February 4, 2025 by Yael Breimer
Gentle Toddler Weaning and Transitions: Amanda’s Experience
From birth to age two-and-a-half, my daughter, Addie, and I co-slept and nursed to sleep and throughout the night as needed. Our weaning was extremely gradual and gentle for both of us, emotionally and physically.
We started weaning from our daytime nursing sessions by using the strategy “don’t offer, don’t refuse”, where you allow your toddler to nurse if they ask but don’t offer it yourself. We used distractions, too, like a toy, activity, or snack. We leaned into playing together as we gradually nursed less during the day.
I talked with her a lot about the weaning process. If she requested to nurse, I would explain to her how our day would go. For example, I’d say, “First, let’s do a puzzle (or other preferable activity); we will nurse after!” We also used a countdown while feeding to cut back on the length of time she was feeding each time. Including her throughout the process was really helpful.
By two-and-a-half years old, Addie was only breastfeeding to fall asleep and in the middle of the night if she woke up. To prepare her for the next steps of weaning, we used books and reviewed pictures of ways to fall asleep without nursing. My husband helped comfort her while we cut back on bedtime nursing. Her needs were met, and it went right along with my gentle intentions. I would sleep with her when she initially fell asleep. If she woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn’t comfort her in any other way, I would nurse her for a few minutes.
After about a week of falling asleep without nursing and still co-sleeping, we noticed she was showing interest in moving to her own big-girl bed. A special delivery of her favorite colored sheets and a book about sleeping in a big-girl bed arrived in the mail for her. I was intentional about doing each transition in stages. It felt like I was following her lead! We continued to respond to her needs as she moved to her own bed. For the most part, she went to bed easily and comfortably.
After those transitions went smoothly, we planned a special day to celebrate her weaning milestone and our nursing journey. We even had balloons! At this age, Addie was able to talk about her feelings of sadness, and I could meet her with compassion and understanding.
We found other ways to connect and bond. For sleep, instead of nursing, I would sing to her and rock her, then I would kiss her and leave her to nap. Sometimes, my husband would help put her back to sleep in the middle of the night, too. He would sing and rub her back while she laid on her belly.
Weaning a toddler and working through the steps of the process with them while respecting their needs can feel overwhelming. It is a big milestone! Addie and I had become an awesome breastfeeding team. Now it was time to move beyond nursing and continue to grow our bond.
If you are savvy, you could even create your own story to read aloud to your child. I did this, and my daughter, Addie, loved looking at the pictures of herself that I put throughout the story. You can learn more about how to create a personalized story here. I made a short story for each new transition and included pictures of her sleeping on her own, so she could visually see herself doing each thing we were working towards.
You may want to choose a day on the calendar together for the last day of nursing and mark it in a special way. Countdown how many days are left and talk about what it will be like. Make sure to focus on the positives, like how exciting it is to celebrate growing into a big kid, instead of dwelling on something beloved going away.
Having a plan for tough moments may be helpful, as well. It is okay to ask for some support. For me, I went on walks and sought peace from my faith while my husband watched the baby monitor. You might consider calling a friend to get your mind off things or to process how you’ve felt about weaning. However you process the end of your nursing journey is okay! Just know you’re not alone.
For more resources on weaning:
Supporting Breastfeeding Families–Today, Tomorrow, Always
Please consider donating to La Leche League USA.
Your gift helps support this blog and the website!
Donations of any amount are gratefully accepted. Thank you!
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