By Ta-Sha W.
Editor’s note: Black Breastfeeding Week is celebrated annually August 25-31st. The theme for this year is: Listen Up! Reclaiming Our Narrative and Centering our Stories for Breastfeeding Justice. To learn more about why we need Black Breastfeeding Week, read this story on New Beginnings. We hope you enjoy reading Ta-Sha’s personal experience of breastfeeding as a Black mother and how she found support through La Leche League. For more information about virtual events taking place for Black Breastfeeding Week, please check out this link.
Motherhood in a Same-Sex Couple
As a same-sex couple, my wife and I needed some assistance in getting pregnant. We ended up finding a donor and doing IVF through a fertility clinic. I went through many hormone injections and early morning appointments to create our daughter, Shemsi.
I was in labor for 31 hours but had a fairly quick delivery. I had an amazing water birth at home. Shemsi came into the world surrounded by a group of amazing Black women: my wife, my mom, my favorite cousin, my mother-in-law, and our midwife. My brother-in-law surprised us and took the bus here from New York. He came into the room after Shemsi was born and did skin-to-skin with her while I ate. Everything about my birth was really special. I watch our birth video all the time!
The Decision to Breastfeed and Finding Support
I had known for a very long time that if I ever had children, I would want to breastfeed for at least the first six months. I’ve worked in early education for over ten years and took breastfeeding training at one of my former schools. The benefits are so clear and abundant. I love that there are benefits for moms as well. There is a history of breast cancer in my family so knowing that breastfeeding can reduce your risk was probably what stood out to me the most.
Several people in my close circle breastfed, and they have been a big support to me. My mom didn’t breastfeed her children, but she has been super supportive of my breastfeeding journey and says that she’s learning a lot from watching me raise Shemsi. My wife has been by far my biggest supporter in this. She makes sure I’m eating, drinking water, and getting rest. She has always put my well-being above all and lets me know that she’s behind me in all things.
Joining my local La Leche League Group in Virginia while I was still pregnant was very helpful; I learned so much that has helped me from day one. There have been multiple times when I’ve wanted to quit, but I’ve heard my LLL Leader in the back of my head saying, “Never quit on a bad day.” Even when I don’t have questions for the Group, it’s just nice to attend meetings, be surrounded by people with the same overarching goal, be encouraged by others’ stories, and get answers to questions that you didn’t even know you had.
I also joined a local group of amazing Black and brown women called District Motherhued. I went on a lot of their mommy walks through that group while I was still pregnant and now participate with Shemsi. It’s a great community of women with shared experiences.
Overcoming Challenges in Breastfeeding
In my breastfeeding journey, I have overcome a lot, from mastitis to bottle refusal to food allergies. We found out our daughter is allergic to eggs and has a dairy intolerance. Breastfeeding has been really challenging, but I’ve been doing it and plan to keep it up. Reminding myself that the difficult phases aren’t forever has been helpful – another tip from my LLL Group.
As a young baby, Shemsi was easy to nurse. But still, like many parents, I sometimes reached a point when I felt touched out. She only wanted to be held by me, on top of nursing on demand and co-sleeping. It felt like she was always on me. It became hard to accept touch from other people. Even things that were second nature – hugs, kisses from my wife, handshakes, holding hands felt really overwhelming. But we persevered, and I’m glad I did.
Now, she’s so mobile! She started taking steps right before she turned eight months and is now easily walking around the house. She does weird gymnastics positions when she’s nursing. Sometimes she pushes her head into my chest while she’s standing and nursing, which can hurt! So I’ve started trying to create the boundary that we sit down while nursing. If she stands, I’ll sit her down, and if she gets back up, I’ll unlatch until I’m able to get her to sit back down. I got this tip about introducing nursing manners from my LLL Group as well.
Staying Motivated to Breastfeed
I keep myself centered on my goals with the reminder that I won’t always have to be on call to breastfeed. I won’t always have to pump when I’m away from her for too long. My diet won’t always be heavily based around her egg allergy. Still, I have the same perspective that I won’t always be her main source of nourishment. I can see she’s growing so quickly and won’t depend on my breast for comfort soon. She won’t look for my breast to get to sleep in her big girl bed. That special connection and bonding time we have through nursing will come to an end at some point. I know I’ll still bond, connect with, and comfort her in other ways, but it won’t be the same. I think about that during a lot of our nursing sessions. I kiss her forehead and try to take in the moment.
Benefits of Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding has definitely saved us hundreds of dollars already. We haven’t needed to purchase formula, and my menstrual cycle hasn’t started yet, so I haven’t needed to purchase sanitary supplies for well over a year.
Shemsi is very healthy and strong. I don’t know if it’s true, but I like to attribute her walking so early to my breastmilk, too. She’s very secure in our relationship. She knows exactly where she can get nourishment and comfort all in one.
I think breastfeeding has made me more confident in my parenting. As a first time mom, I’m often unsure of what I’m doing and if I’m doing it correctly. Breastfeeding is one thing that I know I’m absolutely doing right, and it’s giving my daughter a great start to her own health journey. It makes me feel like a goddess when I think that I not only birthed her but I’m also the reason she’s growing so big and healthy.
Encouraging Other Nursing Families
I would encourage nursing parents to find community support. Remember not to quit on a bad day. Know that you are not alone in whatever is happening in your breastfeeding journey – there is always someone who can relate to your circumstances. Set healthy boundaries for yourself, even with your baby. And as cliche as it sounds, “The days are long, but the years are short.” You won’t enjoy every moment, but try to appreciate the journey and focus on the beautiful moments.
For more stories about Black breastfeeding, check out the following:
Supporting Breastfeeding Families–Today, Tomorrow, Always
Please consider donating to La Leche League USA.
Your gift helps support this blog and the website!
Donations of any amount are gratefully accepted. Thank you!
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Posted: August 27, 2024 by Yael Breimer
Black Breastfeeding Week: Ta-Sha’s Story
By Ta-Sha W.
Motherhood in a Same-Sex Couple
As a same-sex couple, my wife and I needed some assistance in getting pregnant. We ended up finding a donor and doing IVF through a fertility clinic. I went through many hormone injections and early morning appointments to create our daughter, Shemsi.
I was in labor for 31 hours but had a fairly quick delivery. I had an amazing water birth at home. Shemsi came into the world surrounded by a group of amazing Black women: my wife, my mom, my favorite cousin, my mother-in-law, and our midwife. My brother-in-law surprised us and took the bus here from New York. He came into the room after Shemsi was born and did skin-to-skin with her while I ate. Everything about my birth was really special. I watch our birth video all the time!
I had known for a very long time that if I ever had children, I would want to breastfeed for at least the first six months. I’ve worked in early education for over ten years and took breastfeeding training at one of my former schools. The benefits are so clear and abundant. I love that there are benefits for moms as well. There is a history of breast cancer in my family so knowing that breastfeeding can reduce your risk was probably what stood out to me the most.
Several people in my close circle breastfed, and they have been a big support to me. My mom didn’t breastfeed her children, but she has been super supportive of my breastfeeding journey and says that she’s learning a lot from watching me raise Shemsi. My wife has been by far my biggest supporter in this. She makes sure I’m eating, drinking water, and getting rest. She has always put my well-being above all and lets me know that she’s behind me in all things.
Joining my local La Leche League Group in Virginia while I was still pregnant was very helpful; I learned so much that has helped me from day one. There have been multiple times when I’ve wanted to quit, but I’ve heard my LLL Leader in the back of my head saying, “Never quit on a bad day.” Even when I don’t have questions for the Group, it’s just nice to attend meetings, be surrounded by people with the same overarching goal, be encouraged by others’ stories, and get answers to questions that you didn’t even know you had.
I also joined a local group of amazing Black and brown women called District Motherhued. I went on a lot of their mommy walks through that group while I was still pregnant and now participate with Shemsi. It’s a great community of women with shared experiences.
In my breastfeeding journey, I have overcome a lot, from mastitis to bottle refusal to food allergies. We found out our daughter is allergic to eggs and has a dairy intolerance. Breastfeeding has been really challenging, but I’ve been doing it and plan to keep it up. Reminding myself that the difficult phases aren’t forever has been helpful – another tip from my LLL Group.
As a young baby, Shemsi was easy to nurse. But still, like many parents, I sometimes reached a point when I felt touched out. She only wanted to be held by me, on top of nursing on demand and co-sleeping. It felt like she was always on me. It became hard to accept touch from other people. Even things that were second nature – hugs, kisses from my wife, handshakes, holding hands felt really overwhelming. But we persevered, and I’m glad I did.
Now, she’s so mobile! She started taking steps right before she turned eight months and is now easily walking around the house. She does weird gymnastics positions when she’s nursing. Sometimes she pushes her head into my chest while she’s standing and nursing, which can hurt! So I’ve started trying to create the boundary that we sit down while nursing. If she stands, I’ll sit her down, and if she gets back up, I’ll unlatch until I’m able to get her to sit back down. I got this tip about introducing nursing manners from my LLL Group as well.
I keep myself centered on my goals with the reminder that I won’t always have to be on call to breastfeed. I won’t always have to pump when I’m away from her for too long. My diet won’t always be heavily based around her egg allergy. Still, I have the same perspective that I won’t always be her main source of nourishment. I can see she’s growing so quickly and won’t depend on my breast for comfort soon. She won’t look for my breast to get to sleep in her big girl bed. That special connection and bonding time we have through nursing will come to an end at some point. I know I’ll still bond, connect with, and comfort her in other ways, but it won’t be the same. I think about that during a lot of our nursing sessions. I kiss her forehead and try to take in the moment.
Benefits of Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding has definitely saved us hundreds of dollars already. We haven’t needed to purchase formula, and my menstrual cycle hasn’t started yet, so I haven’t needed to purchase sanitary supplies for well over a year.
Shemsi is very healthy and strong. I don’t know if it’s true, but I like to attribute her walking so early to my breastmilk, too. She’s very secure in our relationship. She knows exactly where she can get nourishment and comfort all in one.
I think breastfeeding has made me more confident in my parenting. As a first time mom, I’m often unsure of what I’m doing and if I’m doing it correctly. Breastfeeding is one thing that I know I’m absolutely doing right, and it’s giving my daughter a great start to her own health journey. It makes me feel like a goddess when I think that I not only birthed her but I’m also the reason she’s growing so big and healthy.
Encouraging Other Nursing Families
I would encourage nursing parents to find community support. Remember not to quit on a bad day. Know that you are not alone in whatever is happening in your breastfeeding journey – there is always someone who can relate to your circumstances. Set healthy boundaries for yourself, even with your baby. And as cliche as it sounds, “The days are long, but the years are short.” You won’t enjoy every moment, but try to appreciate the journey and focus on the beautiful moments.
For more stories about Black breastfeeding, check out the following:
Supporting Breastfeeding Families–Today, Tomorrow, Always
Please consider donating to La Leche League USA.
Your gift helps support this blog and the website!
Donations of any amount are gratefully accepted. Thank you!
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