Welcome to our new series called Dear Listening Leader. Parents are invited to send in their concerns about human milk feeding and parenthood, and a team of volunteer La Leche League USA Leaders will offer information, options, and support. If you’d like to submit a question, please email [email protected], and our Leader team will address the issue.

Here’s our first question:

Dear Listening Leader,

I am so exhausted! My toddler is waking up every 30 minutes overnight to nurse. She doesn’t nurse much during the day, but overnight she seems to never leave the breast. I’m not ready to wean her, but my ongoing lack of sleep makes me wonder if weaning is my only option. Please help us.

I’m so sorry you are not getting enough sleep right now! To reassure you, overnight wakings, even for toddlers, can be normal (although frustrating!). Something that I find helpful is to think of weaning as a spectrum. It’s not all or nothing! You can work toward weaning overnight without ending your nursing journey altogether. Talking your toddler through the change and making the transition gradually can help. Start discussing it about a week or two before you begin the process. You might say, “Next week at bedtime, milk (or whatever your family calls nursing) is going to sleep, too. We will have milk again in the ___ (whenever you plan to nurse next!).” No matter what, you got this!

– Leader Annie

Dear Sleepless in the USA,

I want to reassure you that you are not alone!  Many mothers have brought up similar concerns regarding their 18- to 22-month-old toddlers who seem to want to nurse like newborns, especially at night! While total weaning is an option, there are several other things you could try first, since it sounds like you’d prefer not to wean.

First, take a deep breath and remember that this is temporary. There are some wonderful benefits to nursing toddlers, even at inopportune times, such as concentrated immunity factors, bonding, comfort, and enhanced nutrition! Second, know that your baby is very fortunate to have received everything that you have provided up until now! Third, realize that because your baby is developing quickly, they can begin to understand gentle limits.

Start with small discussions about nursing overnight and see if you can convince them to cuddle instead of nurse. Some techniques that have worked for others include nursing for an allotted amount of time, such as the length of a favorite song, then do some cuddling after that time period instead of nursing. There are some great children’s books that might help start the gentle process of setting limits on nursing.

Finally, remember that weaning may not solve all the reasons your toddler is waking up (teething, brain development, processing emotions, sickness). Weaning is a tough decision to make. Breastfeeding is a relationship between two individuals, and the needs of both should be considered in guiding your decision. Whatever you decide, it sounds like you have already done an amazing job. A local La Leche League meeting might be a helpful activity, since it’s always good to meet others who are also up all night nursing their children. 😉 Think of all of us next time you latch your baby in the middle of the night and know that you are not alone! Hang in there!

We hope something in our replies has helped you feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you need more support, you can find an in-person or online LLL USA Group Meeting here. We’ve also linked some resources below that might be informative.

LLLove,

Listening Leaders of La Leche League USA

Resources:

• Toddler Nursing from LLL USA
• Should I Night Wean? from New Beginnings
• Weaning: We Did It Together from New Beginnings

Supporting Breastfeeding Families–Today, Tomorrow, Always

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